Therapy for Life

The PETA Team recently attended an alien awareness and sensitivity training camp at an undisclosed location in Ohio.

One of the activities involved construction paper therapy techniques designed to help people confront deeply repressed fears. The technique is known to work wonders in both post-traumatic stress disorder therapy as well as the elderly across the nation.

While we applaud the goal of the activity, well... frankly, we were appalled at the blatant disregard for alien sensibilities regarding the proper and respectful disposal of alien corpses. The Brethren teach us to keep an open mind.... and we understand that the vivisectionist apologists running this camp were trying to make light of this horrific practice of our government. Some of our selfless operatives resolved to set things right. They put aside their personal feelings of profound revulsion, dove into the stew of dismembered alien parts parts, and attempted to rebuild one of the victims of horrific abuse. While we applaud these heroes, we must also continue to call on the organizers of these events, in the most urgent and heart-felt terms, to adopt a more gentle attitude toward the Brethren and their fallen stars: